Grains of sand

Today is my birthday. If I converted all the seconds I've lived to grains of sand, I'd have 1198368000 specs in my hand. My guess is that they would not all fit in my hand. I am 38 today and I feel so privileged. No one knows what tomorrow, or even even the next hour may bring but I have had 1198368000 seconds worth of life that, even with its ups and downs, I would not ever change for the world. Ok, maybe a couple of things. Or maybe not, for without my complete past I would be a different person writing these lines - I may not even be here, and that would be a tragedy, for I have really grown to love myself with all my foibles and quirks. If there is one thing I perhaps would do is go back to 16 year old me and whisper in her ear...

▶️ it's OK to be alone. It's OK not to fit in. Use this time to get to know yourself. Make your own best friend for now. You will find your people - the weird ones, the awesome ones, the ones you don't have to pretend with.

▶️ don't forget that you can't please everyone and you're not perfect and trying so will one day break you. When that happens, it will get better. You will heal. You will get stronger and you will use all that you've learnt along the way.

▶️ you will say stupid things to people. You're only human. The ones that matter will accept your apology and you'll move on with an even stronger bond.

▶️ most definitely trust your instincts - they are sharp!

▶️ you're not a failure. You will find what you can thrive- and fulfil yourself in.

▶️ jealousy is not a good look. But don't worry, eventuality you'll realise we're all on our own path, none running parallel with another so competing is useless. Keep the focus on you.

▶️ worries and anxiety suck and you'll have your fair share but I promise you, you have a strong and steady future until at least you're 38!

'Grains of sand' 2020

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